As many this is my 1st time ever asking for help in a group forum. I heard about this from my counselor, she advised me to check into things so I did. I am a full time single mother. My daughter is 15 going on 43. I’m sure if you’ve been a parent, you know exactly what I mean by that. I have been struggling with balancing my load of work, personal, as well as making sure my kiddo has a good role model. Life has been difficult lately. I am divorced, was married military, Air Force, was stationed at Nellis AF base, before we divorced. My husband went overseas to Korea, cheated, we tried to work things out, moved to Texas it didn’t work. I moved back to Las Vegas, everything reminded me of him. I struggled. I had a friend who couldn’t take it anymore, offered me a new journey, so I moved to Arizona. I moved in 8 years ago with a colleagues friend who needed a roommate before she could move back into her house she was renting. It worked out perfectly for the last 8 years. The last 2 years have been turbulent, struggling with the roommate losing her leg due to it becoming necrotic, I worked with her, and took her to physical therapy 3 times a week, she had a prosthetic and she was learning how to walk again, it was great! I was so proud of her, she had an issue with her good foot, it started out as nothing serious, soon became her other foot becoming Necrotic. She had a choice, either to amputate that foot as well, or lose her life. She took the first option, amputated exactly to the day it had been a year since her first leg was amputated, and it was on her birthday to boot, both years, lucky her right? Poor thing, she was in and out of the hospital for 6 months-9months had 9 more surgeries, each one becoming necrotic and them going in and going up her leg, until they could no longer go up. They finally took her right femur about 6 months ago. Since then she had moved to a nursing home and has not been back home since February this year. So sad. I feel so bad for her. As of April, she had to stop paying rent, so I had to cover her portion her half since then, and its been real tough. In the process of that, I had love hate relationship with my daughter, and her feeling like she wasn’t getting the attention she needed and starting acting out, almost committing the unthinkable, I don’t dare to say what she did, to protect her privacy. I nearly lost the only thing that matters most to me. Anyways, I decided enough, I needed to do something for me and her and thought going back to school will help me do something I needed to finish 15 years ago. So I can better myself for her and us. So I did, I got FASFA, as well as taking out 2 additional loans to help support us while I get back in the swing of school full time, and try to think ahead and get situated. That was a bad idea, you see, I thought having a flexible job like Uber eats and or Grub hub would be a great idea. For one, Uber will help pay your college tuition for ASU after so many orders, and it’s a lot but I thought, that’s okay, I can do it. Boy, was I wrong. It’s so hard to work, and juggle your active in sports teenager, while trying to do SCHOOL FULL TIME, and take care of her, and work. I haven’t even gotten to half the orders I need to in order to get this degree, and half way thru I realize, people do NOT tip well doing deliveries, if at all on Uber, and their compensation base pay, is laughable. Want me to travel 22 miles for $5 pay and then to get no tip. Now, I’m not bad at math, so I mean, anyone can do the calculation here, that I am not going to come out ahead getting orders where I get paid less than 50 cents a mile. All the wear and tear on your car, you are joking me. So, I slowed down on doing Uber Eats. So the 4 year degree being paid for, that fell thru the rafters. I pick another food delivery place, Grub hub, and it pay’s a little better, but not nearly as many orders; but at least the majority of the time I make a 90 cents or more per mile. No more than $1.oo. Again, the only real income we see is the tips, because base pay is like $2-4 per order consistently. That’s not great, there’s no hourly pay here this is base delivery payout from the company. Well, just this past summer (3 months ago) I had bought 4 used tires, to get me by for now and because I didn’t have the $200-$400 upfront I had to get a line of credit with like 184% interest, and just paid that off barely this week, total paid out was over $660 for these stupid used tires. Now at this point, I’m appalled, especially a day later, when I learn at my oil change, that I’m going to need to get a whole New set of 4 tires. I’m offended at this point, and feel like a complete idiot. Only to turn around and find out that? Nevertheless, that was my fault, I should have gotten the car aligned when I got these used tires. I was broke though and it slipped my mind. I’ve been busy, with life and everything else thrown at me. So, here I am, with a 2003 Honda Accord Coupe (that i absolutely hate having 2 doors only, its so small) with 260k miles on it, on it’s last leg- I really don’t want to get 4 new tires for this thing that is probably going to break down the day after I get these tires! I need help, like real help, please. I just want simplicity for the rest of this year, I want life to be easy just for the next 2 years so I can finish college, please. So I can breathe, so I can get caught up… So I don’t have a heart attack and leave my daughter with nothing to be happy about. I don’t want to struggle anymore, I mean I don’t even know what it’s like to be happy, or what that feels like anymore. It’s been so long since I’ve been in a good spot and mentally, I am struggling, emotionally I am struggling, and Physically, I am struggling. I just want life not to be hard for both her and I. Just for a little while so she can enjoy her youth still. So she doesn’t resent me for me bringing her into this world where there’s nothing but strife, and stress, and horrible people who do horrible things like take advantage of you and your kindness. I don’t want her to be a cold person who is so closed off because she can’t trust anyone. She’s literally going to therapy because I’ve been so kind to the point where I lost myself. I’ve been hardened by society and the cruel and unusual punishments I’ve subjected myself too on accident. I’m just stuck, and I know I don’t live in a perfect world, or a fair world, but some peace knowing I don’t have to struggle would be insanely kind. If anyone wants to give that to me, here’s what it looks like to me. Not worrying about my rent while I’m in school these next 2 years, not worrying about gaining any more weight because I can’t eat heathier when you’re getting food from the food pantry, and surviving, and because of all the cortisol in my system, I’m burned out, nothing is functioning properly cause of the amount of stress I’ve been under for the last 5 years. I’m not looking for a hand out, just a hand up, someone to help me relieve this burden I’ve been carrying for way too long. I’m running on fumes. Seriously. So what would be nice is a vacation with my daughter, somewhere beautiful, and to have no stress about bills like rent and utilities for the next 2 years and I know this is asking a lot but just a car, that I don’t have to worry about it breaking down on me every day. So I can refocus and finish my AA /Bachelor’s and then I can actually show my daughter how amazing I am when I have some support, and I can show her that kindness still exists here on earth. That there are good people still out there, and I am sorry that I have met the bottom of the barrel people out here in Arizona who’ve taken a lot of my dignity, but I’m still a good mother. And that Karma is actually real, and when you do good things for people, that it does come back and pay you back. I want her to know, that being a good person, there is a reward for that. I want someone to re-instill that faith for her and I as well. So, if you can help out in any way with rent, and utilities and help me get a decent newer car, I don’t mind making the payments if I have too I just don’t have the credit nor work history to support it as of right now. Any help or donations to a better life would be greatly appreciated, and I promise to pay it forward once I get my life back in balance, trust me. I’m good for it.
- Listing ID: 14799
- My City: Mesa